Where Settlements Cannot Go – Towards a Praxis of Reconciliation in Group Conflicts (Part 2 of 6) (11/20/06)
Darrell Puls To reiterate, my primary interest is in finding true resolution to organizational and community conflict and the reconciliation of conflict-damaged relationships. The empirical data led me to conclude that large-scale reconciliation (the healing of pre-existing relationships damaged by conflict) cannot occur without forgiveness. Though forgiveness happens on an individual level, my quest was to find a process to encourage forgiveness and reconciliation on a large scale. While my work focuses primarily on churches and other religious organizations, the empirical data strongly suggest that my findings are also applicable to secular institutions. This series is a result.
Where Settlements Cannot Go – Towards a Praxis of Reconciliation in Group Conflicts (Part 1 of 6) (10/22/06)
Darrell Puls It is always difficult to admit that what one is doing is often insufficient, but this is that admission. After 30 years in the field of conflict management, including 16 years as a mediator, I have come to believe that conflict in ongoing relationships cannot be managed—it must be completely resolved or it will live on and reconstitute itself with greater destructive energy than before. Like most mediators, I have seen many conflicts where relationships fairly begged to be healed but have not known how to help the parties get there. Nowhere is this more true than in those conflicts where there is an ongoing relationship. Where I once considered getting a settlement to be the measure of success, I have now reversed myself and believe that stopping with settlement is sometimes the measure of failure. Let me explain.
What It Means To Be Sorry: The Power Of Apology In Mediation (1/23/06)
Carl Schneider The importance of apology as the acknowledgement of injury
is familiar to some forms of mediation, including victim-offender mediation,
but has been much less understood in divorce mediation. The act of apology
represents one of the core reparative opportunities in damaged relations.
But it's not easy. This article will describe the opportunity that apology
presents, the difficulty we have in seizing that opportunity, and the role
that third parties can have in inviting apology.
Apology: The Post-Debate View (11/21/05)
Jerome F. Weiss This article examines the need for better mediation advocacy through analysis of recent articles on apology and explains how it sets an appropriate tone in certain cases. The article also explains recent clinical experience with respect to apology for medical mistakes and the relationship to mediation advocacy.
Apology: More Power Than We Think (9/26/05)
Darrell Puls Mediators too often focus on settlement as dispositive of the conflict rather than merely as the issues coming out of the conflict. They often recognize that the relationship needs repair, but do not know how to help the clients get there. Appropriate levels of apology can break logjams. Unfortunately, apology in mediation is underrated because mediators do not understand the four levels of apology and are not trained in the art of helping people apologize.
De-Escalation: The Key to Peace (9/12/05)
Douglas Noll De-escalation moves parties from emotionality to rationality, allowing them to make sound choices. If parties are pushed too quickly to be rational, they will balk and impasse will result. De-escalation is therefore a key element of peacemaking.
Apology in Mediation: Sorry To Say, It’s Much Overrated (9/12/05)
Jeff Kichaven A simple apology—without admission of liability or fault—can go far to ease tension and promote goodwill in a mediation or negotiation setting. Although rarely used and often misconstrued, when done appropriately and sincerely, they can help effectuate fast, fair settlements.
Goodness in Guilt (8/09/04)
Barbara Ashley Phillips The source of guilt is not important. What is important is that while guilt can keep us stuck, it can also heal. When guilt spurs us to action or to response, it is healthy guilt - or primary emotion. Even anger can be healthy, when it spurs us to action that is not destructive.
The Internal Neutral: Why Doesn't Your Hospital Have One? (6/11/04)
Carole Houk The National Naval Medical Center (NNMC) in Bethesda, Maryland is the first acute health care institution in the nation to offer a full-time internal neutral for the resolution of health care issues. The data obtained thus far indicates that the presence of a well-trained and properly positioned internal neutral can be a highly cost-effective and efficient resource for resolving patient-provider conflicts.
The Decision to Settle – Balance, Setoffs and Tradeoffs Between Rational, Emotional and Psychological Forces (5/03/04)
Shiri Milo-Locker The line between a ‘yes’ and a ‘no’- to - settlement decision in negotiation is very thin. The last straw is often what it takes to move parties from a persistent “no” to a willing “yes”. It is true for our everyday-life small decisions like buying a pair of shoes as for large-scale government decisions like accepting a peace plan or going to war. What pushes people to their ultimate decision in negotiation? What are the forces that operate and how do they relate to and interact with each other when a party considers whether to accept or reject a settlement at a certain point in time?
Consciously Incompetent: A Mediator’s Cycle of Learning (12/08/03)
Paula Young This article explores the four stages of skill development, from the perspective of the mediator: (1) unconscious incompetence, (2) conscious incompetence, (3) conscious competence, and (4) unconscious competence.
How To Create More Currency In Employment Mediation (9/08/03)
Jeffrey Krivis When Congress decided to include, as gross income,
settlements made for "non-physical" injury torts, it
reduced the value of such settlements by up to 45
percent. This has been particularly
devastating in employment cases, where emotional-distress
recoveries often helped the employee transition into a
new employment situation. Now that those recoveries are
taxable, it has been difficult for practitioners to find
ways to create more value out of a settlement, aside from
getting the defendant to pay more money.
Contributions of Caucusing and Pre-Caucusing to Mediation (1/20/03)
Gregorio Billikopf Encina The author argues that pre-caucusing—a separate meeting between the mediator and each of the stakeholders before they are ever brought together into a joint session—can not only overcome many of the negatives often associated with caucusing, but has the potential of becoming a pillar of conflict management. Pre-caucusing affords stakeholders the opportunity to vent and be heard at a critical time in the mediation process, when it can reduce defensiveness and increase creativity. Once in the joint session, stakeholders communicate with each other with less mediator interference.
The Use Of Mediation In The Patient Complaint Process (1/20/03)
Tony Belak The time is ripe for a new approach to resolving conflict arising out of a personal and intimate relationship such as health care delivery. With emphasis on listening and empathy rather than legal wrangling, patients and physicians can willingly reconstruct or dismantle their relationship in a manner and fashion wherein they retain control of the outcome with some mutual respect or recognition of needs.
Should We Negotiate with Terrorists? (12/03/01)
Cris Currie While it may seem that those of us in the field of conflict resolution have had little to say since September 11, 2001, professional negotiators have not been silent on the subject of terrorism. Roger Fisher addressed this very question in the second edition of Getting To Yes, and in January of 1992, the Negotiation Journal published a special issue called Reflections on the War in the Persian Gulf. The insights found in these publications are just as valid in the aftermath of the World Trade Center attack as they were for the terrorism of the 1980s and early 90s.
What is Peacemaking? (5/17/01)
Douglas Noll Peacemaking is a complicated concept because peace can be defined in so many different ways.
When we speak of peace, we understand it in two ways. First, there is negative peace. The second way of understanding peace is as positive peace.
Pre-Mediation Questionnaire: Dispute Clarification Tool (11/01/99)
John Gromala Many disputes have a prior history of an amicable relationship. This is especially true in business disputes. Thinking back on "better days" can create the atmosphere for productive dialogue. Use this tool to help prepare for mediation.
"I'm Sorry": The Power of Apology in Mediation (10/08/99)
Carl Schneider Apology involves the acknowledgement of injury with an acceptance of responsibility,
affect (felt regret or shame - the person must mean it), and vulnerability - the risking of an
acknowledgement without excuses. It is repair work - work that is often necessary, but difficult.
